The Moon's Arrival
by malfoyismine
Summary: Remus Lupin is distraught over an accident in the woods during his transformation where a little girl is killed. Lily just happens to watch the whole ordeal and decides to help him, but he refuses to open up to her.
1. Default Chapter

Title: The Moon's Arrival  
Rating: PG-13  
Summary: Remus Lupin is distraught over an accident in the woods during his transformation where a little girl is killed. Lily just happens to watch the whole ordeal and decides to help him, but he refuses to open up to her.  
Disclaimer: I do not open any of the characters in this fan fiction. They are all the property of J. K. Rowling, the goddess that she is. I am not making any money off of this what so ever.  
  
*~*  
  
Blood.   
  
He could feel the blood running down his lips slightly, but yet he did nothing to stop it. It was still warm, despite the night air and he shivered slightly, slinking through the shadows of the Hogwarts grounds. The Whomping Willow lay behind him; it's branches casting shadows in the grass before him, swaying slightly. He was grateful for the shadows.   
  
Why?   
  
Why had it happened like it did. He couldn't help the fact that it was a full moon, couldn't help that he had to take refuge inside the Shrieking Shack. But he hadn't gone there this time. No, he had gone into the Forbidden Forest, hoping that it wouldn't be very bad this month.   
  
Screams  
  
He could still hear the screams of the girl he had killed echoing in his mind. She had been playing on the edge of the forest, where a house lay. He had gone through the woods and watched her as a man, watched her play her games. Then it had happened. It took over him, like he had taken the girl. She fought his grasp, but he wiggling only made his wolf-self hunger more. And the slight taste of blood had awakened something deeper in him, something....   
  
NO!   
  
Shaking his head, he continued on his trek to the castle. He had gone to the Willow after his foul act and now returned like nothing happened. His clothing was shred, like always. There was always blood on him when he came back. Nothing different about his looks. Just how he acted. His pace was heavy, as if he drug his feet.   
  
Whipping his mouth on his tattered sleeve, he pushed the door to the Great Hall open and looked into the dark space before him. With a final glance behind him at the moon, he crept inside and quietly closed the door.   
  
As he slowly made his way up the stairs to the Gryffindor common room, Remus Lupin tried to block out the thoughts that went racing through his mind. Blood. Screams. Death.   
  
Monster   
  
He would be expelled from Hogwarts if it were ever found out that it had been him who had killed the little girl, he knew that. He would also be tried as a criminal and be sent to Azkaban over a single mistake that he had made in his frenzied mind. A large mistake. If only he had gone to the Willow on time...   
  
Yes, if only. He would have been at the Shrieking Shack, feeling the very living hell pulled out of him. But no, he was out. Free. Killing innocent people. He should have gone to the Willow, but now it was too late.   
  
The damn wolf!   
  
If only. Thoughts of his childhood came to him, his childhood that was plagued with sadness. His mother died when he had been only a few weeks old, leaving him in his father's care. A car accident when Remus was 5 years old and attending muggle kindergarten took his father's life. He had been sent to his grandparent's house, way out in the country. By the forests near the mountains. He had been bitten at the age of nine. Every since then, he had been a monster once a month.   
  
When at his grandparents, he was set to roam free in the woods. He killed small animals, squirrels and rabbits and such. But never a human before. Never tasted human blood.   
  
He stood at the portrait to the Common Room for a few minutes until he realized where he was. Giving the password to the lady in the frame, he walked inside and slumped into one of the chairs by the fire, not wanting to go up to bed. Just wanted to think.  
  
*~*  
  
Wolfbane   
  
His thoughts lingered on a song that his grandmother used to sing to him to get him to sleep. He had always loved that song, and had the first verse carved into her tombstone when she had died. His grandfather's grave lay a few yards away, underneath a willow tree. Ironic. They had died together in their sleep in the summer between his second and third years.   
  
Wolfbane   
  
He watched the fire crackling at the logs and his mind wandered again. Back to the woods. He saw the little girl sitting there, holding her doll in her tiny hand, saw her smiling face look up at the man watching her in the woods. Then it turned into a look of fear when...   
  
Wolfbane   
  
He shook his head, making the horrid thought escape his mind. He wanted to forget tonight, wanted to make it not exist. But it did exist and it wouldn't go away. The little girl's scream echoed in his mind.   
  
He moved right up next to the fire, feeling the hot flames lick his skin slightly. He could just end it now. The little girl's death would be avenged...   
  
"Remus!" a voice behind him called and he felt two hands on his shoulders. He tiled his head up and saw Lily Evens standing there, her face in vivid shock. He stood up and looked at her, saw her red hair and...   
  
Blood  
  
Remus shook his head and walked over to the couch, sitting himself down. Lily sat next to him, laying a hand on his back. He put his head in his hands, thinking about what he had been about to do. What he had just done.   
  
"Remus, what's wrong?" she asked, her voice filled thick with emotion. He didn't move at all, just sat there with his head hung.   
  
"I... nothing..." he said after awhile. She let out a sigh between her teeth and pulled her hand away.   
  
"Remus, I... watched you not go into the Willow. I was worried, and went out side, sat in the gardens and watched for you. I heard a scream, then you running to the willow. What happened?" she said. He looked at her his mouth open. She had gone out, with risk to her own life. The scream. It echoed in his mind now, harder then ever.   
  
"Lily... I killed a little girl," he said, looking right into her eyes. He expected to find shock, or fear, but there was no emotion at all. Just green eyes. Warm green eyes.   
  
They said nothing for awhile, driving Remus into insanity. With every moment gone by, the scream was louder and louder. He just couldn't take it.   
  
"Please, tell no one," he said. She nodded and stood up, motioning for him to do the same. They each walked to their own dorm rooms, not saying a word. As he opened the door to his, he heard the faint sound of her tears.  
  
*~*  
  
Word of the little girl's death flew through the school at an alarming rate. Though there was no word of who, or what, had done it, Remus only knew that it was a matter of time.   
  
They sat at breakfast. They being the Marauders and Lily. Sirius and James were having a healthy conversation about quiddich matches of the past years and what had gone wrong, Peter sat in his seat, swallowing his food whole and jumping whenever someone made a sound. Lily and Remus sat silent, picking at their food.  
  
"What's wrong Lil, cat got your tounge?" James asked, nudging her in the side. She smiled weakly at him, then looked back at Remus. He was only dragging his fork across his plate in the same place over and over again and Lily wished there were something she could do to help.  
  
James, her boyfriend, was the only one who knew her secret. She too was an animagus, like the rest of the group. James had taught her while he himself was learning it. She turned into an orange tabby cat, the fur matching her hair. It was his little joke to ask her weather the cat had her tounge and she usually found it funny. But not today.  
  
James was a little worried about his friend Remus. By now at breakfast, they had always either gotten into a fight over something, or were having a relaxing food fight. But not today. James knew that last night was the full moon, and his friend had every right to be a little moody, but he had never been like this before.   
  
Standing up, Remus pushed his plate toward the center of the table. Everyone around him looked at him then looked away when they saw the look on his face. Except for Lily. She got up too and they walked out of the room, gathering looks from everyone around them.  
  
"James, I think Mooney is shagging your girl," Sirius joked, poking his friend in the ribs. James just watched them leave, then turned back to his food.  
  
*~* 


	2. Chapter Two

*~*  
  
As a bludger rushed by his head, Remus barely swerved out of the way, ramming sideways into James. His friend straightened out of the spiral he had been sent into, then speed foreword, throwing Remus a sideways glance. The game around him didn't matter at all. He was just there. He saw the quaffle falling after an overthrow and he dove toward it, not paying attention to anyone around him.  
  
"Hey buddy, watch it," Sirius called, barely missing Remus as he shot past him toward the other end of the field. Remus simply shook his head and swerved sharply to the left, away from the heart of the game play. Even this, his favorite game in the world, held no happiness for him now.  
  
For the past week, all he had been able to see in his mind was the little girl's face right before he had ruthlessly killed her. She had been an innocent little creature, and he had done an unforgivable act to her. The smell of her blood, the way it felt on his skin. It had done something to the wolf part of him that made him hunger for more and more.  
  
Why did he have to spy on her when he was still himself, seeing that she wanted a friend? She had seen him and motioned for him to come out, holding out her doll. He had taken it from her and looked into the stitched face. That was hen the first twinge happened.  
  
His arm, still his own arm, reached out and grabbed the girl's hand. She smiled and looked up at him with her crystal blue eyes. Another twinge. She had come and sat in his lap. That was when all hell had broken loose.  
  
The wolf made him grab her throat, made him drag her off into the woods. She had been crying and the human in him wanted her to stop, wanted to help her. The other side of him answered that plea by helping her forever. He had broken her neck and torn off pieces of flesh with his teeth, by that time very large.  
  
It had been like a steam train hitting him, the taste of that bit of skin. The good and pure part of him was sobbing, trying to get the rest of him to stop, but that was when he fully lost control. He had attacked the body, ripping her apart. Even now, he saw her lifeless body in a heap.  
  
He had only run when a shout came from the direction of the house. The man part of him wanted to stay, wanted to be punished for the act, but the wolf ran, taking him back to the school. Only when he had reached the edge of the forest did he come back to himself slightly. He had ran to the willow and waited the rest of the change out there.  
  
"Lupin! Watch out!" James's voice called from off to his right. Lupin tried to swerve, but it was too late and the bludger slammed into his head, knocking him from his broom. He could feel himself falling, could hear voices all around shouting jumbled things. Then everything went black.  
  
*~*  
  
Marie Lupin, her hair the color of wool fresh from the sheep, sat in a chair next to a small bed, her hand on a small boy's head. The boy, a pale white, looked as if he were on his last few minutes on earth. There was a rapping at the door, but nothing in the room moved. The door flung open.  
  
"Is he... Is it true?" a tall, yet elderly man asked, his eyes locked on the boy. Marie nodded her head and started humming a soft tune, rocking back and forth. "He's a werewolf."  
  
"My sweet Remus," Marie whispered, then started humming louder and louder, as if to drown out everything and everyone around her.  
  
*~*  
  
"Grandma!" Remus shouted, sitting straight up in the bed. His hair was plastered to his face, sweat running down from every pore in his body. Lily, who had been sitting in a chair next to his hospital bed, set down her knitting and stopped humming. Her eyes were wide and she looked afraid.  
  
"What's wrong Moony?" she asked, laying a hand on his head. The image of his grandmother in his dream flashed before him again and he let out a soft moan, almost a whimper. Lily bit her lip and pushed him down so that his head lay on the pillow again. "It'll be alright."  
  
"But the little girl!" he whispered, squeezing his eyes shut and biting his lip. His whole body was shaking, though only partly from the cold. Lily grabbed another blanket from a rack underneath the bed and lay it over him, then ran a hand through his hair.  
  
"She's dead Lupin. There isn't anything you can do," she said after a minute. He looked up at her, tears streaming down his face.  
  
"But it's my fault. I saw my grandmother and grandfather right after I was bitten. Lily... I miss them," he said. She nodded and he sat up again. Lily tried to get him back down, but he struggled to his feet and started to the door. "I'm going to go turn myself in."  
  
"No Lupin. I won't let you. You can't do anything more and that won't bring her back," she sighed. He stood there, frozen in place and blinking his eyes at her. "But here." She reached into the breast pocket of her robes and pulled out a small, metal figure.   
  
He walked back over to her, his out stretched palm shaking. She placed it in his hand and he immediately pulled away, looking deep into her eyes, pain filling his own. "That's made of quicksilver. You know that I can't have that, Lily."  
  
"It's not for you. You know what to do with it," she whispered, setting it down on the dresser by the bed. As he sat back down, she ran off, her sobs echoing down the halls back to him. Looking at the figure, he saw that it was a little girl, a little doll cradled in her arms.   
  
He put his head in his pillow and cried.   
  
*~*  
  
As he stood in the doorway of the wooden house, Lupin fingered the tiny satin pouch that the figure was in. He had asked if it was all right to come down here when the rest of the school was off at Hogsmeade. His teacher had agreed, and here he stood.  
  
He kept his eyes on the door, trying to look at anything except for the woods or the place where she had sat when he had taken her. It was in the shade of a large fir tree, and he focused his eyes, trying not to let any images flood past him.   
  
After a moment, there was a noise at the door and a pair of eyes appeared from behind a slit in the door. They studied him for a moment, then the slit closed. He tried not to remember that the eyes were the exact color that the little girl's had been.  
  
"Whadda you want?" a woman asked as the door swung open. Right away, the scent of lavender filled his nose and he cringed. His grandmother had always smelled of lavender.   
  
"I just came... came to... er..." he stumbled along with his words, frantically searching his brain. He hadn't exactly thought of a reason to be there except to give her the figure, but that would look a little odd. "I wanted to say I was sorry for your loss."  
  
"Yea... well. Thank you," she said, then turned back toward the lavender darkness inside the house. He reached out a hand and grabbed her arm, making her scowl at him.  
  
"Here. This is yours," he said, shoving the pouch in her hand and taking off. As he ran, he could imagine the look on her face when she opened it. It would be one of sadness, contentment and fear. But he knew that it was the right thing to have done. Lily would have been proud if she were there. He wished that she were there instead of in Hogsmeade.   
  
He had no way of knowing that Lily was in the bushes watching him run the path up to the castle.  
  
*~* 


End file.
